What I Learned in Traffic School (Part 1)

Yes, I got a ticket. But it's only my second ever. Then again, it was my second in about as many years. Yes, it was for speeding. But I was trying really hard to drive the speed limit; I looked up from my speedometer for just a couple seconds and--BAM!--there were those flashing red and blues. He didn't seem to buy my story, either...

Anyway, so in order to avoid getting a point on my driving record I had to face the long, dull, drudgery of Traffic School. I chose two weeknights over an entire Saturday. Orange County doesn't let you do this over the internet, like some other counties. And they no longer have those famous Comedy or Gardening or Beach Party Traffic Schools either. They actually expect you to sit in a class and learn about how to be a better driver. The nerve!

Thankfully, they do their best to make the 8 hours go by as painlessly as possible. After spending a full half hour walking the class step by step through the process of filling out our certificates (something that should only take about 5 minutes), the teacher began discussion about traffic safety issues. This mostly involves asking people what they "allegedly" did, and making fun of them for being an idiot.

Through all of this, you actually learn some pretty useful stuff. Much of which, it seems, most people don't really know. So I thought I'd provide a list here of some of the more informative points:

1. 2-Point Infractions. Most tickets (speeding, running a stop sign, etc.) only give you one point on your DMV record. But there are more serious things that will give you two points--and you can't go to traffic school unless a judge lets you (which means you would have to go to court). Some of these infractions are: DUI, hit & run, reckless driving, wet reckless driving (i.e., involves alcohol, below the DUI level), speed contest (racing), exhibition of speed (revving engine and squealing tires), evading, driving while suspended, driving wrong way on a one way st.
2. Stop, Drop, or Roll. When you come to a stop sign, cops are watching your wheels closely to see if they completely stop turning. Therefore, to be safe, you should always stop for a full 3 seconds. (If you have those spinner caps on your rims, you're pretty much screwed, so you'd better stop for even longer.)
3. Your Best Response Now. When you get pulled over, the cop will invariably ask you this question: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" And you will answer as follows: "Officer, I have no idea!" If you say something stupid like, "I think, maybe I might have run right through that red light back there, just a little bit," the officer will write this down as an admission of guilt which will be used against you if you decide to fight the ticket in court.
   

more to follow!